while the devil wants to fuck you in the back of his car...

doubleess @ 2008-03-18T14:39:00

2008-03-18T18:43:23Z

i don't know if anybody is even going to read this anymore it's been a really long time i think. i just thought i'd let everybody know that i absolutley hate highland and all of the redneck cousin fucking assholes in it. the second i have the money saved to survive i'm out of here. goooodbye. but how can i get there with a car that i can't even get in on the drivers side? because some man backed into me because he probably couldn't see over his massive cowboy hat and mustache. everybody is the same and every day is the same. i don't want to work in an office anymore and i don't want to drive anymore and i don't want to do the same thing everyday i'm going carazay. i want to go to the beach......when will the weather pick up :( okay enough complaining it's not really that bad. i saw the horton hears a who and it was probably the funniest thing i've seen in a long time. horton was really soft looking.

doubleess @ 2006-08-10T18:27:00

2006-08-10T22:31:04Z

i haven't posted in this journal in forever.
but i'm home with nothing to do, well i do but i'm taking a break.
i had no coffee today, unlike any other day where i drink 7 at least. and for some reason i was over-productive. i started cleaning and organizing like a maniac at work today because it's the messiest place in the world. then i decided i needed a bank account. then i decided i needed a new wallet and clothes. then i decided i need to bring my mom the bill for school in gardiner, so i'm on my way to do that. i have an over-powering urge to clean my room, but i'm going to restrain myself from going too crazy. because i'll probably organize everything and right now, you can't see the floor, so i'm not going to do it.
i dont know what is up with me right now. i'm like on speed, except not really.
probably because i got so much done, when usually i lay around and do nothing this summer because i've been in a bad mood.
i got a job at aeropostale. i guess it's cool. jobs a job. and an easy one at that, so good.
i swam across a big lake.

i dont go back to school until september 5th, awesome for me.
i want the heat wave back because i like the heat. but in the middle of the 104 degree weather i decided to go to the beach and i almost passed out, i thought i was dying.

i'm going to see tom petty again, second year in a row, on sunday at spac. i'm so excited. i can't even handle myself. i'm going to go every year until he dies.

or i die, whichever comes first.

doubleess @ 2006-06-10T12:40:00

2006-06-10T16:39:40Z

all the flowers that you planted mama, all died.

so it's summer and i'm jobless and i hate being home and i'm really sick, you know...hearing/seeing things, stuffy nose, fever, can't sleep, really cold but then suddenly really hot, joints hurt a lot. i sound like an old woman. parents are away for the weekend and i get sick right after they leave. so much for that.

i'm going to see tom petty again, go me.

doubleess @ 2006-05-18T17:51:00

2006-05-18T21:58:27Z

well welllll. yesterday was a trick day because it WAS nice out, but then when i went out in shorts and t shirt, it started to rain. but that's okay, because me and luke went to get ben n jerry's NOT from the gas station but the store, which is 98457489576 times better. then we went to a used book store and i got some good stuff for really cheep. i'm all packed. called tracey, i guess the bed n breakfast is where i am for the summer, and maybe panera because jasmine said she'd get me a job there and that would be awesome of her. so i'm just waiting for my dad to come get me. blablabla. tonight i'm just gonna stay home, i don't wanna go out or do anything with anyone, sorrrrry. i'm just gonna unpack and sit at my house. then i'm gonna go job hunting all day tomarrow if i find out im not gonna be at panera, because the b&d is too far away, and gas is too much, i would be working just to have gas money to get there and that would be very pointless indeed.
i knew angela was in marc's room so i went over there to bother her and give marc his bag back. and you know, for a girl who thinks she so ballsy by answering his phone and then chickening out when it comes time to say something to me, she doesnt even say anything in person. she's the biggest idiot ever. she just looked at me and i gave her on of those dirty looks/smile looks and she just turned away. dumbbbb bitch. i hate her.
i love the pina colada song.
tomarrow i'm laying in the sun in a bathing suit and getting tan. and it is going to be awesome. yeah, i dont think i'll be job hunting. i'm too lazy. sun bathing sounds like a MUCH better plan. things like that make me think i will be very very poor this summer. but very relaxed.
sean and i broke up. wierd huh? but i think it's good. my mom was freaking out for a while like i broke up with her, bc she was in love with sean, but she'll get over it, i think she already has. she just misses him probably. they still talk though, which is wierd, but im not home, so i don't care.

doubleess @ 2006-05-15T23:12:00

2006-05-16T03:15:58Z

i would love some ginger ale right about now...but the machine ate my quarters and so now i'm thirsty.

i need another job, because the bed and breakfast is really far and gas is too much, and all my money will go to gas and there will be no point in working. o8yrufgjdksghilugh. maybe i'll just become a millionaire and then i won't need a job. sounds good to me.

yepyep, boring entry because i'm bored out've my mind right about now.

"I thought: 'what would a funny mom do?'...so i punched him in the stomach"

doubleess @ 2006-04-22T18:51:00

2006-04-22T22:51:17Z

You're too young to be this empty girl
I'll prepare you for a sick dark world
Know that you'll be my downfall.

doubleess @ 2006-04-20T16:28:00

2006-04-20T20:31:53Z

there is so much to do, and i'm not doing any of it. which is really bad, because i'll end up in jail, which would be so much easier.
i didn't come back to my room for a couple days and my roommate thought i died.
now i wanted to go to the mall with her, but i can't find her.
????????
i'll wait another twenty minutes for her to come back.
it's awesome out today.
signed up for classes, and thank god, i only have classes 2 days a week. 8:45am-4:15. not a bad time span. i wish it didnt start so early, but i can't do much.
i'm not living on campus next semester, thank god. me and brieanna are getting an apartment, it's almost for sure. unless one of us decides against it. or unless i can find a bigger place and jess'll move in too.

doubleess @ 2006-03-30T16:52:00

2006-03-30T21:56:50Z

my heart's skipping beats again. last time i had a problem with this was when i was in 10th grade and it was from too much stress and too muich caffine. i don't drink coffee as much at school. i have a lot to be stressed about it, and it's always on my mind, but i feel relaxed and lazy. so maybe that's making it worse, because i'm not doing anything about it. i can't wait for this semester to be over and for all of this to get out of my way. i wish i had only school work on my mind. but when it comes summer, but only obligation will be work, which is not stressful at all, with the jobs i have. yogi bear, easy as cake. bed and breakfast, boring but still easy. i gave up the filing job for my mom, which would have been a lot of money, but i gave it to my cousin who needs it a lot more right now. so i'm thinking of a daycare. plus "babysitting" the ladies, but i'm easy on that term, because i love doing it. and my summer will be stress free and awesome. yrtughdfjkghosjethgkdfjghkdfjgh

i just don't want to end up with heart problems, which run in the family. i'm not even wprroed about it, but maybe i am. i don't think so. i kind of am, sort of. my mom, my gramma and her mom. so, i guess we'll see. but i'm not old enough or fat enough yet to worry about these problems that run in my family. so it's just stress, that hopefully won't kill me too young. give me a few more decades and i'll be okay. i think.

let may come soon.

doubleess @ 2006-03-29T17:17:00

2006-03-29T22:18:15Z

i'm gonna get bad housing next semester. :-(

doubleess @ 2006-03-25T05:23:00

2006-03-25T10:23:15Z

steph: ...unless you...marry me...
boy: i can't even cross the street.
steph: married people cross the street.
boy: then i guess i'll marry you.
steph: you have to propose! a girl waits her entire life for this moment!

boy gets down on one knee

boy: i can see up your nose.
steph: it's supposed to be romantic.
boy: i can see up your nose, darling.

doubleess @ 2006-03-24T18:47:00

2006-03-24T23:45:24Z

Yo, peep this. According to this magazine, 92% of the hunnies at UCLA are sexually active. 92% yo! You know what this means, don't you. This means I got the 92% chance of embarrasing myself. I roll up on that shorty like, what's up yo? She be like, you don't know 20 different ways to make me call you big pappa cause I don't, yo. Rest in Peace.

doubleess @ 2006-03-24T14:25:00

2006-03-24T19:31:17Z

meeting with my RD today. residence hall probation, meaning that if it happens again between now and december 31, i get kicked off campus or something.:-( and some alcohol meeting mallory and i have to go to. gayyyy. and a letter is being sent home to my house.

christening sunday for my cousin's baby, so i've got to figure out how i'm getting home. and soon i think, because i could get a ride today, but that depends on if lys is coming to get me, because if thats the case, i'll go home with her tomarrow. but if she's not i might go home today. if i cant today, then ill go tomarrow. but nobody get mad at me for not hanging out tomarrow, because i promised my mom i'd babysit. oietuoigjgh. yeah, she made me feel bad.

i havn't slept in 49 hours. well...i took a nap last night from 6:30 to 8:30. then this morning at....6-9, then 11-12. so i guess that could count.

i want to be tan again, i'm too pale to handle.

doubleess @ 2006-03-23T13:15:00

2006-03-23T18:16:45Z

no sleep. in a long time, once again. :-(
i just wrote a paper about how horrible being a funeral attendant would be, and that's why you should do it. because it's the closest job you can get to being selfless. even though it's still selfish.
got out of my ticket. because the judge asked me who my dad was, and when i told him, he said he's drop the ticket. but i still had that surcharge thing, but instead of paying it, i get 10 hours of service...which is amazing...compared to the 24 i got last time. only down side...it needs to happen within the next 30 days.
have another paper to write, i've got three hours. three pages. it's so short. which means i wont start until......3. rughdjkfghkdfjgh i'm too lazy. maybe i won't.
sunrise, sunset.
i'm bored.
i need a shower.
i ate a bagel today and thought i was going to throw up, there was something wrong with it.

doubleess @ 2006-03-21T12:26:00

2006-03-21T17:30:57Z

so how did this happen all at once? i've got my court date today for my chalked id, my mom's on her way to get me. i need to call m&t about my stupid money problem that ISN'T my fault. AND to top it all off nicely, sunday night we were being too loud and got written up for drinking in our room, so our appointment with the RD is tomarrow, hopefully all goes well. we have some sort of story to make it not so bad, we only gave them six or whatever cans because that's all we had, why do you ask? because beer cans dont come in that small number...BUT we're going to say someone gave them to us, because they didn't check our fridge when they came in, they just took whatever was out. then...they'll ask...why were the desks all out of order? and we'll say: because we wanted to lower mallory's bed, so we had to move everything away, which is partially true.

blablabla. it'll all be okay. but now i've got to go get dressed looking okay before my mom gets here, and then maybe trick her into bringing me to ruby tuesday because i've been craving a bacon cheeseburger, the kickin queso, those hot peppers in the noodle thing in the salad bar, a seltzer water and hot chicken wings. sounds like the best lunch i'll ever have, because i've been waiting forever for it.

happy late st. p's day. mine was awesome. went out with mallory and met up with luke and his friends. saturday sean and joe came up, fun times. i fell on my face, bruises all over my left side. made best friends with the cab driver, DJ. he was cool. he quit smoking and i talked to him about good that was. haha. irotghrughrjkhkj

gbye.

doubleess @ 2006-03-19T17:41:00

2006-03-19T22:43:26Z

"College kids... they'll sleep with anyone & everyone, but they make damn sure to wash off that ball before throwing it again in beer pong"

doubleess @ 2006-03-17T08:01:00

2006-03-17T13:05:32Z

PLEASE LET ME SLEEP BEFORE I GO EVEN MORE CRAZY THAN I AM RIGHT NOW. BECAUSE IF I DON'T GET A NAP IN STARTING IN THE NEXT FOUR HOURS, I'M NOT EVEN TRYING, BECAUSE IT'S ST. PATRICKS DAY AND ITS GOING TO BE A GRAND WEEKEND. SO PLEASE, WHOEVER IS PUNISHING ME WITH INSOMNIA, LET ME SLEEP. IF YOU DON'T, WHEN I FIND YOU, I MIGHT KILL YOU.
LOVE-JESS

doubleess @ 2006-03-17T01:07:00

2006-03-17T06:12:55Z

i've been doing so well. yes i was awake until 6:30 in the morning everyday, but i slept all day, which was improvement from not sleeping at all. but here...this is my sleep for the past couple days. i woke up at 4pm on wednesday, then i stayed awake until 7am, took a nap until 8:15, went to class. went back to bed at 10:30, woke up at 2pm...and here's where it';s annoying. i went to bed tonight at 9pm, because i couldnt fall asleep earlier kind of, then i kept waking up. and here i am, 1:10 and i cant sleep. my skin's gotton really pale and i look like shit. :-(

doubleess @ 2006-03-15T17:08:00

2006-03-15T22:16:38Z

AAHHH. i need to start waking up and going to class. and this is an easy class, so if i do bad in it because i don't show up i'll shoot myself in the face.
because i just woke up, about an hour ago.
and i have to read that stupid book, which seems really good, i actually like it a lot, even though i've only read twenty pages. and do that paper.
read that journal, do that paper.
all by tomarrow :(
procrastination is my Mom.
but first i'm going to watch TV.
then read a little.
then go to the little store for caffine pills and food.
plus, the author of the book i'm reading is coming to speak at my school tomarrow, so i really wanna read it now, because he seems like a cool guy anyways. i mean, he helps sick people in sick countries with no pay. that gives you automatic points, just for being a good person, i think. i soundl ike i'm joking, but im actually all woeuyfjdskfh and cold, so im writing wierd. abfuefhjkfh
whoever's being a bitch to jess, stop, because we're meaner.

doubleess @ 2006-03-14T18:35:00

2006-03-14T23:39:10Z

i am $280 in debt. how this happened, i don't know. seeing as how i havn't used my card or taken money out since november, when i had some money in my account. it was only a little i know, but i had a lot to pay for and i was unemployed because i was at school.

so now i have to call the bank and get all this crap straightened out. i'm so mad. if i find this person, i'm going to punch them in the face, i swear to God. even though i know i won't, but if i did or could, i would punch them in the face.

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.

FUCK YOU ALL.

doubleess @ 2006-03-13T21:38:00

2006-03-14T02:45:37Z

i hate the way i look. sometimes i disgust myself. well, usually.

i need to decide about school next year. am i going somewhere close to home? and if i am, am i living home or getting that house with sean and joe? or am i stay at albany. am i living on campus? am i going to live with mallory? or am i going to talk to luke about living at his house. or, do i want to take a semester off, because i hate school a lot. i have two weeks to decide. jkrghjkg4huoh

my legs hurt.

tomarrow is going to be a productive day for once. after my test at basically the crack of dawn, i might go for a walk to idk where. read as much of that book as i can. go to class, read more, go to lukes class, and then have the pasta dinner with luke.

uwrighjksgh how come new paltz spring break is so early? and mine isn't until the 10th?

idk what to do for sean's birthday.

i hate my computer, because there is no internet. because i hate my roommates computer, because i hate her keyboard.

i just want the stupid tattoo to heal, because i hate having to apply that crap all the time, and having my clothes stick to it.

doubleess @ 2006-03-13T05:11:00

2006-03-13T10:20:44Z

got kicked out of class. i didn't think that happened when you left high school. but i guess it will follow me everywhere i go. but we were watching a movie that i saw in high school. so...andrew...do you remember the movie about min. wage, and the guy who was a nurse/ex-heroin addict, and the girl who worked in the cleaners, and the dad who worked as a limo driver? yeah. very lame. anyways, so i was playing that game with the dots and the boxes and my teacher told us to leave. Lame.

so. saw shaggy dog. so i was a vegie kid for a few days until i encountered a bacon cheeseburger. whenever i plan to do it, it never works out. apparently i have to not pay attention and not eat meat for months and thats when it works.

new tattoo. matching one with the mom. kind of big for what it is. but i like it. because i was so proud of her, she just randomly worked up the nerve that she'd been waiting for for about six months, or whenever my last one was. and so we went and got er done.

saw the new johnny depp. and some day, i'm going to throw my empty bottle at the world, just like him. good movie. really liked it.

rode the mechanical bull, three times. did the honky tonk badunk. dance with my cousin. saw a conservative girl dance while showing her thong. the best thing to watch. kind of like that principal on school of rock who does the stevie. impression thing. but they always regret it (they loved my friend adam, but he always got caught. man that kid made fucking up look cool. aren't we all so cool? No.) well not the principal lady, but you know what i mean.

um, i have a lot of work to do. and i didn't realize that This is the week that everything is due. so theres something due tomarrow, test tuesday, a book that needs to be read to do a paper on thats due thursday. another paper due thursday. but eufhdjskfh we'll see. it'll be okay though, because friday will be st. p's day. woohoo. a whole weekend of fun.

you took RAY to a strip club?

p.s. i love the cosby show.

doubleess @ 2006-03-09T05:07:00

2006-03-09T10:09:25Z

so, nothing like wandering around for a couple hours in albany, heather getting there just in time because she last minute drove up from new paltz, seeing the basically garage band we've loved since 10th grade just in time, deciding to hang out after the show in my room and it all ending nicely. good night stuff. good night.

doubleess @ 2006-03-07T02:10:00

2006-03-07T07:12:03Z

you know what's the greatest?
when i pay for one lemon-lime powerade, and i get two.
because that happens every other time i get one.
the machine's broken.
and i love it.
because i love powerade.

doubleess @ 2006-03-04T01:57:00

2006-03-04T06:59:35Z

i aingt sain shes a gold diggga.

blsadbfjuhdgkjfds

drunk eiofhkjfghkjsghkdsldhaj bkefgudsi blablababala

yeah my roommate fucking rocks.

thats it i guess.

bc its times like this that makeds me not wanna move home.

she aint messin with no broke niggaas.

get down girl.

on her eighteenth birthteen birthday you find out it wasnr hid,

we want prima.

yeah i know thats not that fucking words.

so what, alcholics aRE AWEIME. LOHDSFKJDSHKJFDGHKJDSHGKJSDHGILUSGHLIUREWLHJD

MY ROOMMATES GRINDING WITH ME.

i,drunk

she uses tangerines

2006-03-03T07:43:12Z

new obsession? the flaming lips. yeahyeahyeah, i know i'm behind, because they're so cool to love. sorry guys.

my throat is starting to hurt and that's not cool, because saturday brings awesome stuff. heathers coming to get me and luke, and we're road tripping to suny bing. to see kevin. woohoo. i'm so excited. i'll be back sunday.

hopefully when heath picks up stuff from my house, my mom gives her money. bc i'm mad broke. if not, it's okay.

christian (my 10 year old brother) text me today saying "i miss you, when're coming home to visit?" with a sad dog face. so i promised to visit asap.

i'm getting a house. most likely. yay. with sean and joe. it should be an awesome time.

so today was a bad luck day? i guess. because i got up, showered, did my homework, went to the bookstore, and realized i never printed my hw out, so i walk back, get something else, walk out, and realize i forgot it again. i go get a powerade, and when i pushed yellow, a red one came out. i ate a salad that made me want to vomit. and when i took my test that was a third of my grade, i realized i forgot to study a bunch of my notes that were in a diff. part of my notebook, but thank god the questions on that stuff i knew anyways. 'phew'

so i hear it's snowing hardcore in highland? wierd, because usually it's always colder here. and it wasnt. it wasnt horrible like usual.

aside from today being bad luck, even though luck isn't real, i also had a long tiring day.

g'night.